The Boy From Science Class

Who would have ever thought that as I looked across the room in chemistry class my junior year of high school, I'd be looking at the face of the person who'd become my husband? We didn't really talk much that year, but I noticed that he always seemed to be smiling and looked like a nice guy. The next year, we sat next to each other in physics. There was more time to chat because: 1)The teacher didn't really do much so we had lots of free time; and 2)Physics wasn't a great subject for me and I needed more explanation. Chris was there to help, still grinning a lot, easy to talk to. I can't say that I really had romantic feelings, but I did consider him a friend, and someone had informed me that, "He has a crush on you!"

It wasn't until the end of that year, just before I graduated, that Chris finally asked me out. We had a good first date, but I was headed to college in the fall and wasn't looking to get into a relationship. One date led to another, though, and I started to notice things, like how how would feed my baby sister Victoria, making her giggle, or bring me lunch, or give my younger brother a ride. Then I realized that he wasn't just "a nice guy," he was someone I didn't want to stop being with when I went to college, maybe even...."THE nice guy."

All that was twenty years ago, and now, here we are, thirty-somethings with three boys, married for fourteen years (today!). Reality has definitely set in. There's laundry, dishes, discipline, etc. etc. But, beyond that, there is a love, a deep and abiding love that only our sovereign God could have foreseen. And, every so often, I look at my sweet husband, and still see the very nice guy that I fell in love with so long ago.

March 2003

July 2004

December 1998

What more can I do?

As I was reading Ann's blog recently, I was convicted. She shared stories about her time in Haiti, her work with Compassion, and the poverty and suffering she saw while she was there. As I read, the Holy Spirit struck me that I have become desensitized to the poor and hungry in the world. I've turned a blind eye to them, thrown out the letters that have come in the mail about sponsoring or encouraging others to sponsor or doing something to help.

Yes, we already sponsor one boy, do the Samaritan's Purse shoe boxes at Christmas, but is this enough? Is this all we can do? All I can do? Have I been teaching my own kids to have empathy and compassion for the less fortunate, or have I been teaching them to be self-centered?

I think of my mom, who has given up a week of vacation time annually for the past several years to travel to Guatemala, Haiti, the Dominican Republic. She and her team have provided medical services to the people there and shared the gospel at the same time. Sure, she works hard, and would like a "normal" vacation, but she is out there living it- promoting God's Kingdom and doing what she can to help the needy.

So, while I've been at home, obsessing over how to best organize the toys and barrage of stuff we have, while pinning ideas on Pinterest, others have been wondering where their next meal will come from.

Lord, show me what I can do to help those who are suffering, then let me be diligent in doing it. Not just in "talking the talk," but in living it. Keep their poverty fresh in my mind, and help me to teach my boys compassion. Thank you, Father, for your loving kindness, for not forgetting the poor. Sustain them and all of us as we wait for the day when you return and call your people home.

Our Nicholas

age 7

age 3

age 1

Nicholas turned seven last month, and it's kind of hit me that he is no longer a "little boy." I guess with the oldest one, you always have this idea that they seem older than they actually are. I remember thinking he was big when he was three! That seems so little now. I suppose that in a few years, seven will seem young, too, but we are definitely moving into more of a "bigger boy" stage. The days of trains and trucks are behind us (with him anyway), and I now have to stay on top of all things Lego, Play Station, and Harry Potter. (The latter is no problem. We love Harry around here!)

What I really love about Nicholas right now is that he is getting so much deeper, so much more capable of understanding what makes things work (just like his dad), so much more logical. He has a new-found interest in chess, and will probably be very good at it one day.

More importantly, he is starting to put together the pieces of our faith. Just today, we were discussing Deuteronomy 5:16, which says, "Honor your father and your mother as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long, and that it may go well with you." I asked the boys, "Why do you think God wants us to honor our parents?" Nicholas' response really surprised me, "When we honor our parents, that is teaching us to honor God, too."

Wow. Perhaps we've made that connection for him before, but I can't remember saying it that way. God, in His goodness, sometimes gives us a picture of the fruit that His Spirit is producing in our children. I am thankful, hopeful, and excited to see what He has in store for Nicholas.

I Can't Change My Kids?

Chris and I are taking a parenting class at church, and it has been very enlightening for me. We've been going through a video series by Paul Tripp, and one of his main points is that we as parents can do nothing to change our kids' hearts. Wow. Nothing? Really?

Yes, we can do all sorts of things to change their outward behavior, but what is the point of that really? If we change their behavior, but do not get at what's going on their hearts, then the undesirable behaviors will return as soon as we take away the consequences or rewards we've been using to keep them at bay.

His point is that our job is to point them to Christ each time they misbehave. While we can't change them- that is the work of the Holy Spirit alone- we can help them realize that their actions are a direct result of what is going on with their thoughts and feelings.

Perhaps the most encouraging thing I've learned is that if we are struggling with our kids now, we can be thankful for that! (Normally, thankfulness during these moments is the last thing I have on my mind!) Not only do we have opportunities to minister to them during these times, but wouldn't we rather be struggling with them now as young children, than when they are teenagers? Well, yes, I would.

Trying to see times of frustration as opportunities rather than simply as irritations/interruptions in my day has really helped me in my parenting.

Easter 2012

Two of our handsome guys (One wouldn't be still long enough to have his picture taken!)

Meeting Elmo

Last weekend, Andrew met the ever-popular Elmo at Busch Gardens. We weren't sure how he'd react, as he is often fearful around strangers, but I guess "L-mo" was no stranger to him!

Perfection (the Catalog Part 2)

So, a few months after the PBK catalog incident (see below), I was walking around, finding myself in a constant state of irritation. You know, when no one can do anything right, and you feel like all you've done is sigh and roll your eyes all day? I'm ashamed to admit it, but that's how I felt and that's how I was acting. And because my kids were the ones there, they were getting the brunt of all the sighing. This didn't just go on for a day, it seemed like i was in this state for weeks, and I was feeling miserable about it, guilty and, well, irritated with being irritated.

One day, as I was having my morning quiet time, I came across a familiar passage from 1 Corinthians 10. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, self-seeking, or easily-angered." (ouch! Sting of conviction.) As I glanced down at the footnote in my bible, the commentary for the verse hit home: Much irritability comes from a love of perfection...Those who are easily irritated need to remember that perfection exists only in God. We need to love him and our fellow Christians, not the visions we have for perfection we have here on earth.

I realized that my kids needed to see less of the eye-rolling, and more love during trying times, that there are going to be times (many, many times) during our lives and each day, when all we can do is go to our knees in prayer.