Chris and I are taking a parenting class at church, and it has been very enlightening for me. We've been going through a video series by Paul Tripp, and one of his main points is that we as parents can do nothing to change our kids' hearts. Wow. Nothing? Really?
Yes, we can do all sorts of things to change their outward behavior, but what is the point of that really? If we change their behavior, but do not get at what's going on their hearts, then the undesirable behaviors will return as soon as we take away the consequences or rewards we've been using to keep them at bay.
His point is that our job is to point them to Christ each time they misbehave. While we can't change them- that is the work of the Holy Spirit alone- we can help them realize that their actions are a direct result of what is going on with their thoughts and feelings.
Perhaps the most encouraging thing I've learned is that if we are struggling with our kids now, we can be thankful for that! (Normally, thankfulness during these moments is the last thing I have on my mind!) Not only do we have opportunities to minister to them during these times, but wouldn't we rather be struggling with them now as young children, than when they are teenagers? Well, yes, I would.
Trying to see times of frustration as opportunities rather than simply as irritations/interruptions in my day has really helped me in my parenting.
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