Being a Mom

Today is Mother's Day, and I have been thinking about how my life has changed since I became a mom. I think God has used motherhood to humble me and draw me to Himself more than anything else in my life.

Before I became a mom, I thought of myself as a very patient person, and as someone who was very good with children. I was a teacher, after all! Six years later, after doing just about everything I swore I would never do as a parent, I have a different opinion of myself.

Yep, I have opened a box of crackers in the grocery store to calm the kids, turned on the TV to get them out of my hair, and over-reacted MANY times to typical little boy behaviors (including, but not limited to, potty incidents, physical aggression, and other things that fall into the "What were you thinking?" category).

More than that, I have disappointed myself for not handling things calmly, not showing them grace often enough, and for simply stealing their joy by bossing and nagging excessively. Will they be resentful of me as they grow up? Will they want to be around me in a few years? Will they forgive me for my mistakes?

Almost everyday, I have prayed that God will restore my relationship with my boys, that they will remember the good things- the reading, cuddling, playing, learning, and that I love their dad so deeply. Through these prayers, God has led me to some key scriptures:

• "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." Isaiah 40:11
• "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." I Peter 4:8
• "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret..." 2 Corinthians 7:10
• "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corin. 12:9

The bottom line is that I've given up any hope I had of being a "perfect mom." It just isn't possible. And, that's okay, because if I were perfect, I wouldn't see my need for Christ. He uses my struggles to bring me to him. Through my mistakes, I've been able to show my boys that I do need him, and that we are all sinners needing forgiveness. Just as I love my children so much despite their misbehavior, Jesus loves me, even when I sin, and grants mercy to all who ask for it. And that is a very good thing.