The Boy From Science Class

Who would have ever thought that as I looked across the room in chemistry class my junior year of high school, I'd be looking at the face of the person who'd become my husband? We didn't really talk much that year, but I noticed that he always seemed to be smiling and looked like a nice guy. The next year, we sat next to each other in physics. There was more time to chat because: 1)The teacher didn't really do much so we had lots of free time; and 2)Physics wasn't a great subject for me and I needed more explanation. Chris was there to help, still grinning a lot, easy to talk to. I can't say that I really had romantic feelings, but I did consider him a friend, and someone had informed me that, "He has a crush on you!"

It wasn't until the end of that year, just before I graduated, that Chris finally asked me out. We had a good first date, but I was headed to college in the fall and wasn't looking to get into a relationship. One date led to another, though, and I started to notice things, like how how would feed my baby sister Victoria, making her giggle, or bring me lunch, or give my younger brother a ride. Then I realized that he wasn't just "a nice guy," he was someone I didn't want to stop being with when I went to college, maybe even...."THE nice guy."

All that was twenty years ago, and now, here we are, thirty-somethings with three boys, married for fourteen years (today!). Reality has definitely set in. There's laundry, dishes, discipline, etc. etc. But, beyond that, there is a love, a deep and abiding love that only our sovereign God could have foreseen. And, every so often, I look at my sweet husband, and still see the very nice guy that I fell in love with so long ago.

March 2003

July 2004

December 1998

What more can I do?

As I was reading Ann's blog recently, I was convicted. She shared stories about her time in Haiti, her work with Compassion, and the poverty and suffering she saw while she was there. As I read, the Holy Spirit struck me that I have become desensitized to the poor and hungry in the world. I've turned a blind eye to them, thrown out the letters that have come in the mail about sponsoring or encouraging others to sponsor or doing something to help.

Yes, we already sponsor one boy, do the Samaritan's Purse shoe boxes at Christmas, but is this enough? Is this all we can do? All I can do? Have I been teaching my own kids to have empathy and compassion for the less fortunate, or have I been teaching them to be self-centered?

I think of my mom, who has given up a week of vacation time annually for the past several years to travel to Guatemala, Haiti, the Dominican Republic. She and her team have provided medical services to the people there and shared the gospel at the same time. Sure, she works hard, and would like a "normal" vacation, but she is out there living it- promoting God's Kingdom and doing what she can to help the needy.

So, while I've been at home, obsessing over how to best organize the toys and barrage of stuff we have, while pinning ideas on Pinterest, others have been wondering where their next meal will come from.

Lord, show me what I can do to help those who are suffering, then let me be diligent in doing it. Not just in "talking the talk," but in living it. Keep their poverty fresh in my mind, and help me to teach my boys compassion. Thank you, Father, for your loving kindness, for not forgetting the poor. Sustain them and all of us as we wait for the day when you return and call your people home.

Our Nicholas

age 7

age 3

age 1

Nicholas turned seven last month, and it's kind of hit me that he is no longer a "little boy." I guess with the oldest one, you always have this idea that they seem older than they actually are. I remember thinking he was big when he was three! That seems so little now. I suppose that in a few years, seven will seem young, too, but we are definitely moving into more of a "bigger boy" stage. The days of trains and trucks are behind us (with him anyway), and I now have to stay on top of all things Lego, Play Station, and Harry Potter. (The latter is no problem. We love Harry around here!)

What I really love about Nicholas right now is that he is getting so much deeper, so much more capable of understanding what makes things work (just like his dad), so much more logical. He has a new-found interest in chess, and will probably be very good at it one day.

More importantly, he is starting to put together the pieces of our faith. Just today, we were discussing Deuteronomy 5:16, which says, "Honor your father and your mother as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long, and that it may go well with you." I asked the boys, "Why do you think God wants us to honor our parents?" Nicholas' response really surprised me, "When we honor our parents, that is teaching us to honor God, too."

Wow. Perhaps we've made that connection for him before, but I can't remember saying it that way. God, in His goodness, sometimes gives us a picture of the fruit that His Spirit is producing in our children. I am thankful, hopeful, and excited to see what He has in store for Nicholas.

I Can't Change My Kids?

Chris and I are taking a parenting class at church, and it has been very enlightening for me. We've been going through a video series by Paul Tripp, and one of his main points is that we as parents can do nothing to change our kids' hearts. Wow. Nothing? Really?

Yes, we can do all sorts of things to change their outward behavior, but what is the point of that really? If we change their behavior, but do not get at what's going on their hearts, then the undesirable behaviors will return as soon as we take away the consequences or rewards we've been using to keep them at bay.

His point is that our job is to point them to Christ each time they misbehave. While we can't change them- that is the work of the Holy Spirit alone- we can help them realize that their actions are a direct result of what is going on with their thoughts and feelings.

Perhaps the most encouraging thing I've learned is that if we are struggling with our kids now, we can be thankful for that! (Normally, thankfulness during these moments is the last thing I have on my mind!) Not only do we have opportunities to minister to them during these times, but wouldn't we rather be struggling with them now as young children, than when they are teenagers? Well, yes, I would.

Trying to see times of frustration as opportunities rather than simply as irritations/interruptions in my day has really helped me in my parenting.

Easter 2012

Two of our handsome guys (One wouldn't be still long enough to have his picture taken!)

Meeting Elmo

Last weekend, Andrew met the ever-popular Elmo at Busch Gardens. We weren't sure how he'd react, as he is often fearful around strangers, but I guess "L-mo" was no stranger to him!

Perfection (the Catalog Part 2)

So, a few months after the PBK catalog incident (see below), I was walking around, finding myself in a constant state of irritation. You know, when no one can do anything right, and you feel like all you've done is sigh and roll your eyes all day? I'm ashamed to admit it, but that's how I felt and that's how I was acting. And because my kids were the ones there, they were getting the brunt of all the sighing. This didn't just go on for a day, it seemed like i was in this state for weeks, and I was feeling miserable about it, guilty and, well, irritated with being irritated.

One day, as I was having my morning quiet time, I came across a familiar passage from 1 Corinthians 10. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, self-seeking, or easily-angered." (ouch! Sting of conviction.) As I glanced down at the footnote in my bible, the commentary for the verse hit home: Much irritability comes from a love of perfection...Those who are easily irritated need to remember that perfection exists only in God. We need to love him and our fellow Christians, not the visions we have for perfection we have here on earth.

I realized that my kids needed to see less of the eye-rolling, and more love during trying times, that there are going to be times (many, many times) during our lives and each day, when all we can do is go to our knees in prayer.

Does this look like a PBK catalog to YOU?

About a year ago, I remember getting a Pottery Barn Kids catalog in the mail one day. As I started to flip through it, noticing the neat, organized kids' rooms, I began to feel something like self-pity growing inside. Why can't my house look like that? About this time, someone yelled,"Mom! I need a plunger! "and someone else needed a new diaper . As I tried to walk upstairs, I stepped over Legos and army men. The pity party continued.

I could hear God's voice : Be thankful. You have a godly, hard-working husband who loves you and your kids, a home that is safe and plenty big enough, money for groceries...the list goes on...and on. I was surprised at how quickly I could forget all of God's blessings, how I could obsess over such little, unimportant things. Chris and I saw the movie "Courageous" a few months ago, and the main character's words still come to mind pretty often: When we get to the end of our lives, will we discover that so much of what occupied our time here was not of eternal value?

So.what is of eternal value? Time with our families, time with the Lord, service to those in need. Pottery Barn Kids? I'll just venture a guess and say "Nah."

Check out my Mother's Day post from May of last year for other ways God has used my kids to teach me things about Him.

Catching Up

The Three Biggest Cousins

The Three Littlest Cousins

"Mamie and Paw Paw"

Sea World

With Grandma Jo and cousin Damien

With Grammy

Pancakes with Dad!

I was warned! "When you have more kids, you'll NEVER have time for scrapbooking, blogging, and all of that." All of my friends with kids told me this, but I still didn't believe them. "Oh, yes, I will!" I replied, never thinking that naptime would one day come to an end, and homeschooling would begin. Well, they were all right. If you were one of them, go ahead and say I told you so.

Yep, even finding time to post family photos is tough these days, much less scrapbooking. (I haven't even attempted this since Andrew came along.)Despite the busy-ness of life these days, I'm realizing that this is a fleeting time, and one day I *will* have time for hobbies once again.

So, here are some photos from the past few months. We've gone to Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi since Christmas, and being able to see family was wonderful. I'll update you on the boys in a separate post. This one is all about the photos!

Photo Card

View the entire collection of cards.

Where to Begin?

Batman, Buzz, and Pooh

The summer and early fall have been quite eventful! I could probably post a dozen entries and not be done. Here are the highlights...

Nicholas:

• Learned to ride a bike this summer!
• Lost his first two teeth.
  
• Has become a TOTAL bookworm. :)

Daniel:

• Is at the "Why?" stage- constant questions!
• Learning sight words and reading beginner books.
• Using his imagination to play Star Wars is his favorite hobby.
  

Andrew:

• Wants to do EVERYTHING his big brothers are doing.
• Saying some words (thank you, night night, what's that), and trying to say many more.
• Has earned the nickname "Mr. Destruction" for wreaking havoc all over the house. :)
  

In other family news, we took a trip to the Outer Banks of N.C. a few weeks ago. The weather was perfect, and all three boys had a blast. In August, we traveled to Georgia for a weekend stay at a cabin with my brother's family. Six little boys in one cabin? Nothin' but pure fun!

We've had a busy fall with school, church activities, and trips to Busch Gardens.

And, speaking of school...
So far, we are having a great year with Nicholas in first grade and Daniel doing K-4. As I mentioned, Nicholas has become a voracious reader, so he is able to do more independent work this year, which allows me to work with Daniel. We are taking multiple trips to the library each week, getting 6-8 chapter books, and Nicholas is done with them all in about 2-3 days. There have even been times when we've had to say, "You are not allowed to read right now." (Never thought I'd utter those words!)

We are enjoying our weekly routine, which has slowed down quite a bit from last year. Both Nicholas and Daniel are enrolled in Classical Conversations this year, and both are loving it. It is so fun for me to be able to sit back and watch them learn (from someone else!), and I'm always amazed at how much they pick up during CC.

Andrew is dropping his morning nap, which is making things a bit more challenging, but he is usually happy playing in his pack 'n play while we do school, or even upstairs with Daniel for a little while. We're coping!

Our gym started offering homeschool P.E. classes twice weekly, so the older boys can attend that as well. They are playing games like kickball and dodgeball, and getting a good dose of exercise, which makes us all happier.

Enjoy the photos!

Enjoying the apple orchard

Future surfer dude?

Daniel- happy with his birthday present. :)

Six happy cousins!

Daniel sharing ("Show and Tell") time at CC

The First Day of School

Look, Mom, no training wheels!

The First Tooth

Andrew Turns One!

Well, it's official. Our baby is no longer a baby. He is a toddler now. Not only did he turn one recently, but he also began walking a month ago. Here are some highlights and more "firsts."

Don't worry- we didn't let him eat the whole cake. :)

First baseball game (on his birthday).

First time in a cardboard box (and probably not the last).

Our sweet Andrew, you have won our hearts this past year- even Daniel's, who was a reluctant big brother. You are full of smiles, laughter, and....yes, I'll say it...mischief! That's okay. I think I just may have the energy to endure one more mischievous boy. And if not, I'm sure God will supply.

T-Ball Season

Daniel's favorite part of every game is yelling "GO RATTLERS!"

Check out the look on his face. :)

Daniel's team was the Rattlers, while Nicholas played for the Yankees.

Both Nicholas and Daniel decided to play t-ball this year. Chris coached Daniel's team, the three and four-year-olds. (Brave man!) Nicholas was able to have his same coach as last year, who is a close family friend.

Being a Mom

Today is Mother's Day, and I have been thinking about how my life has changed since I became a mom. I think God has used motherhood to humble me and draw me to Himself more than anything else in my life.

Before I became a mom, I thought of myself as a very patient person, and as someone who was very good with children. I was a teacher, after all! Six years later, after doing just about everything I swore I would never do as a parent, I have a different opinion of myself.

Yep, I have opened a box of crackers in the grocery store to calm the kids, turned on the TV to get them out of my hair, and over-reacted MANY times to typical little boy behaviors (including, but not limited to, potty incidents, physical aggression, and other things that fall into the "What were you thinking?" category).

More than that, I have disappointed myself for not handling things calmly, not showing them grace often enough, and for simply stealing their joy by bossing and nagging excessively. Will they be resentful of me as they grow up? Will they want to be around me in a few years? Will they forgive me for my mistakes?

Almost everyday, I have prayed that God will restore my relationship with my boys, that they will remember the good things- the reading, cuddling, playing, learning, and that I love their dad so deeply. Through these prayers, God has led me to some key scriptures:

• "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." Isaiah 40:11
• "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." I Peter 4:8
• "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret..." 2 Corinthians 7:10
• "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corin. 12:9

The bottom line is that I've given up any hope I had of being a "perfect mom." It just isn't possible. And, that's okay, because if I were perfect, I wouldn't see my need for Christ. He uses my struggles to bring me to him. Through my mistakes, I've been able to show my boys that I do need him, and that we are all sinners needing forgiveness. Just as I love my children so much despite their misbehavior, Jesus loves me, even when I sin, and grants mercy to all who ask for it. And that is a very good thing.

One Monster Update!

I cannot believe I haven't updated since January-an indication of how busy things have been around here!

Here's what's been going on with our guys this spring...

Nicholas
Nicholas turned six years old in April! His reading has taken off this spring, and he can read all kinds of things now- even "easy" chapter books!

Another recent milestone for him is tying shoelaces, which has made things much easier on Mom. :)

Nicholas is still all about legos. He spends time everyday on new creations, and is very imaginative. My favorite quote from him recently:
"Mom, look what I made!"
"How did you do that?"
"With a bunch of legos I found in the couch."

Daniel
D-Bear is interested in everything his big brother likes, especially Star Wars. We have a book that catalogs all the Star Wars lego sets, and Daniel can tell you about each of them- what episode they are from, features, etc. He pores over the book for long periods of time. He is also being much sweeter to baby Andrew, which always makes us smile.

A recent accomplishment for Daniel is that he's stopped sucking his thumb! We were able to use a bitter-tasting "nail polish" of sorts, designed to discourage it. It worked wonderfully, and took just a few days.

Daniel can almost dressed independently. We will focus on handwriting this summer and continue to work on rhyming words, letter sounds, and counting/number identification. He is an eager learner!

Andrew
He's still not walking, but has been cruising around for almost two months now. Guess it could be a couple more weeks or a couple more months! Around eight months, Andrew gave up baby food completely. I think he just decided he was happier with the "real stuff." He's eating just about everything right now, and loves to bang his high chair tray when he wants more. Needless to say, we're working on teaching him the "more" sign. :)

Our Handsome Guys on Easter
(I decided to let Nicholas off the hook and allow him to wear shorts,
as he is currently in a "Do I have to dress up?" phase.)

Andrew: Ten Months

Look Who's Six!

Easter at church- the bright sunlight that morning left everyone squinting!




"YOU'VE got your hands full!" is the phrase I hear most often these days.
Yes, I do, but I wouldn't have it any other way.